One night a spindly Sarah Spider, a sex therapist, sits down next to her near closing time and starts spinning a handsome web. Penelope Tom admires the handiwork and the mating dance begins. “It’s been so long I wouldn’t know where to begin,” she confesses, as Sarah’s expert hand travels up her thigh. Tom remembers the sensation his mermaid mother spoke about and having inherited her hypersensitivity and not forgetting that he’s still got the old scaly merkin crazy glued over the spot, he feels his packy getting moist and squishy. Sarah spins a wicked web, leading Tom back to her apartment after closing up shop. Sarah ties her up and down and is just about to cuff her to the bed when Tom realizes that there’s more to it than that. Lost between her legs, a latex hot head, Sarah is a cannibal and a carnivore and she’s the midnight snack. As Sarah is using her pincers to pry the merkin loose, Tom comes to her senses and with her elongated index finger — the needly nail grown tough over time is now like an ivory tooth — pierces Sarah’s shell. The stabbed spider spurts bug juice everywhere.