Far away from everything, here I am,
sitting by a window.
Gloomy and sad,
I am troubled with words.
I knit my brows.
The sun is shining through the window and is warming me up.
I have just finished my lunch, I do not know what to do.
I take a handkerchief to wipe away the tears that are running
over my face. In all seriousness, I also wipe away the tears that
are running down my neck.
I am so tired.
I arrived at this hotel by taxi,
Just after midnight.
I was completely disoriented and could not sleep, I was afraid.
While I wanted to look like the sun, the moon,
shining in turns,
I was there, deprived of too many things.
I remember having been happy, and now I am sad.
I evoke my past sadnesses, and I am sad.
My mind is like the memory of my sentiments.
This morning, I took a bath, but nevertheless I feel hopelessly filthy.
My hotel is situated outside the village where I work.
There is water only twice a day.
Except for this morning, it is raining all the time.
People say that on the third day of Creation, it rained so hard on
earth that the god of mankind went up to settle down in the skies,
so as to be closer to the sun.
People also say that as far as art is concerned, reality is somewhere else.
The question arises of how to save oneself.
I would very much like to leave this evening.
To settle on the moon,
to proudly crawl like an eel on paws.
To go and restore my reality.
I would love the flowers, dresses with flowers.
I would write like people wrote in those days.
With lots of symbols, spaces filled with meanings,
filling the typographers with joy.
I would lie down on Récamier couches.
I would read stories about the delights of laziness.
I would evoke with another woman of my life,
memories as delicious as can be…
I thought I had lost everything,



Collage… (Translated from original text in French and Bassaa)

Bili Bidjocka


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